Bafcamfem is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain dolphin.

Bafcamfem created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bafcamfem, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bafcamfem, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bafcamfem's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bafcamfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Bafcamfem in the centre of the settlement.