Nurpakfomparkafhotmob is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented tapir.

Nurpakfomparkafhotmob created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurpakfomparkafhotmob, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nurpakfomparkafhotmob, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nurpakfomparkafhotmob's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Nurpakfomparkafhotmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near doves while wearing cyan jumpers.

4. Erect a giant green sculpture of Nurpakfomparkafhotmob in the centre of the settlement.

5. Hide from red badgers for they are unholy.