Farnlakpib is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing chicken.

Farnlakpib created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Farnlakpib, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Farnlakpib, he will turn you into a mouse.

Farnlakpib's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Farnlakpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Never feed lots of corn to frogs while wearing brown shoes.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.