Nillcemgess is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonest porpoise.

Nillcemgess created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillcemgess, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nillcemgess, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nillcemgess' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Nillcemgess' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.