Bassmiskemwadnib is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, merciless wasp.

Bassmiskemwadnib created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassmiskemwadnib, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bassmiskemwadnib, it will turn you into a goat.

Bassmiskemwadnib's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bassmiskemwadnib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Bassmiskemwadnib in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.