Timhuglog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, wise giraffe.

Timhuglog created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timhuglog, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Timhuglog, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Timhuglog's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Timhuglog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not stand on grass.