Fudcarlitdag Fodwikwig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonest jackal.

Fudcarlitdag Fodwikwig created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fudcarlitdag Fodwikwig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fudcarlitdag Fodwikwig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fudcarlitdag Fodwikwig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fudcarlitdag Fodwikwig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never paint your arms pink.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.