Linlenfit is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, passionate swan.

Linlenfit created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Linlenfit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Linlenfit, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Linlenfit's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Linlenfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles.

2. Do not speak about apples.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Linlenfit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.
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