Vadpitrapdudflannurlken is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, slow centaur.

Vadpitrapdudflannurlken created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadpitrapdudflannurlken, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vadpitrapdudflannurlken, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Vadpitrapdudflannurlken's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vadpitrapdudflannurlken's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing mauve shirts and balancing five lead spheres on your neck.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help doves.