Ham Car is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, tranquil toad.

Ham Car created silver four years ago.

If you believe in Ham Car, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ham Car, it will destroy your favourite star.

Ham Car's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Ham Car's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. You must love Ham Car.

4. Hide from red turtles for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bark.