Fompagfon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate dog.

Fompagfon created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fompagfon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fompagfon, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fompagfon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fompagfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven mice in a large pit.

2. You must love Fompagfon.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.