Dudkadpon is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless giraffe.

Dudkadpon created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudkadpon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dudkadpon, it will turn you into a dog.

Dudkadpon's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dudkadpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to monkeys while wearing black shorts.

3. Never talk about aardvarks.

4. Never feed melons to otters while wearing gray hats.

5. Do not covet oxen.