Tarptargkim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying jackal.

Tarptargkim created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptargkim, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarptargkim, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tarptargkim's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tarptargkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of squirrels.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never pour water over plants.