Bitshavfod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthoughtful troll.

Bitshavfod created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitshavfod, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bitshavfod, he will turn you into a snail.

Bitshavfod's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bitshavfod's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bitshavfod seven times a day.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Run away if nine sheep approach from the north.