Bimfonbest is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, happy crab.

Bimfonbest created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimfonbest, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bimfonbest, she will torture you forever.

Bimfonbest's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bimfonbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Never talk about gravity near geese while wearing magenta corsets and balancing six silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not hurt moths.