Nuttwiklab is a god.

She takes the form of a large, confident whale.

Nuttwiklab created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttwiklab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nuttwiklab, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nuttwiklab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nuttwiklab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nuttwiklab.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed oranges to pigs while wearing violet ear rings.