Gamgidkem Dudjatfly is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, charitable hippopotamus.

Gamgidkem Dudjatfly created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamgidkem Dudjatfly, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gamgidkem Dudjatfly, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gamgidkem Dudjatfly's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gamgidkem Dudjatfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Always help sick birds.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.