Vabgodnak is a god.

He takes the form of a large, moody toad.

Vabgodnak created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Vabgodnak, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vabgodnak, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vabgodnak's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vabgodnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Vabgodnak in the centre of the settlement.

5. Feed all hungry cats.