Caddimxennullcib is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, grumpy rat.

Caddimxennullcib created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Caddimxennullcib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Caddimxennullcib, she will turn you into a mole.

Caddimxennullcib's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Caddimxennullcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Run away if four seals approach from the north.