Matjopsand Gofquafrul is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, able hippopotamus.

Matjopsand Gofquafrul created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Matjopsand Gofquafrul, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Matjopsand Gofquafrul, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Matjopsand Gofquafrul's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Matjopsand Gofquafrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Matjopsand Gofquafrul loves geese, so they must be respected.