Hatxuckem is a god.

He takes the form of a small, omnipotent chicken.

Hatxuckem created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Hatxuckem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hatxuckem, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hatxuckem's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Hatxuckem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three foxes approach from the south.

2. Always look after injured birds.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.