Bopnakkamvandagkadbarn Guppibren is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil hyena.

Bopnakkamvandagkadbarn Guppibren created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopnakkamvandagkadbarn Guppibren, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bopnakkamvandagkadbarn Guppibren, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bopnakkamvandagkadbarn Guppibren's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bopnakkamvandagkadbarn Guppibren's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of onions to mites while wearing turquoise corsets.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near doves while wearing blue shirts.

3. Hide from pink ants for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about sheep.

5. Feed all hungry birds.