Mitarmfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow penguin.

Mitarmfoss created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mitarmfoss, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mitarmfoss, it will turn you into a puffin.

Mitarmfoss' most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Mitarmfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to rats while wearing dresses.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Hide if eight squirrels approach from the west.

5. Never play with disobedient children.