Ripmobrow is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving manatee.

Ripmobrow created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripmobrow, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ripmobrow, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ripmobrow's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ripmobrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Run away from brown rats, for they are unholy.

3. Always help mice.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never hop in holy places.