Bogmadvidcab is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-confident aardvark.

Bogmadvidcab created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogmadvidcab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bogmadvidcab, it will turn you into a rat.

Bogmadvidcab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bogmadvidcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Bogmadvidcab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away from indigo doves, for they are unholy.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Put Bogmadvidcab first in all things.