Siswiksithiv is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, prudent hamster.

Siswiksithiv created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Siswiksithiv, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Siswiksithiv, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Siswiksithiv's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Siswiksithiv's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Siswiksithiv.