Ditcatvad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awesome tortoise.

Ditcatvad created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditcatvad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ditcatvad, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ditcatvad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Ditcatvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Feed all hungry badgers.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never talk about spacetime near snails while wearing pink corsets.