Zoglidpon is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome hydra.

Zoglidpon created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zoglidpon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zoglidpon, it will ignore you.

Zoglidpon's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zoglidpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of rice to turtles while wearing red corsets.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed garlic to sheep while wearing yellow shorts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.