Dimcimlim is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humane salamander.

Dimcimlim created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimcimlim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dimcimlim, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dimcimlim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dimcimlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about otters.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always help mites in need.