Wittifpan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic hippopotamus.

Wittifpan created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Wittifpan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wittifpan, she will turn you into a frog.

Wittifpan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Wittifpan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Run away if three squirrels approach from the west.