Yarlzigkin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful badger.

Yarlzigkin created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlzigkin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarlzigkin, he will turn you into a snail.

Yarlzigkin's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Yarlzigkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Yarlzigkin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Yarlzigkin loves mites, so they must be honoured.

5. Always obey Yarlzigkin's priests.