Flabomtfit is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent rhinoceros.

Flabomtfit created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Flabomtfit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabomtfit, it will turn you into a puffin.

Flabomtfit's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Flabomtfit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always pray immersed in water.