Fenfebvan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, irritating gnu.

Fenfebvan created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fenfebvan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fenfebvan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Fenfebvan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Fenfebvan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Fenfebvan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fenfebvan.