Hasgunzog is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, ruthless deer.

Hasgunzog created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasgunzog, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hasgunzog, she will turn you into a hamster.

Hasgunzog's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hasgunzog's Holy Commandments

1. Hasgunzog loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Hasgunzog must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.