Kapcissham Gepgesston is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous butterfly.

Kapcissham Gepgesston created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapcissham Gepgesston, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kapcissham Gepgesston, he will jump up and down on your head.

Kapcissham Gepgesston's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Kapcissham Gepgesston's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. You must pray to Kapcissham Gepgesston seven times a day.

5. Never feed peas to geese while wearing turquoise hats.