Teenfemtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, two-faced rhinoceros.

Teenfemtaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenfemtaf, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Teenfemtaf, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Teenfemtaf's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Teenfemtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Do not cook food in pots.