Babsafhak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, flying scorpion.

Babsafhak created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babsafhak, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Babsafhak, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Babsafhak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Babsafhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.