Goncarfatpit is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent goblin.

Goncarfatpit created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Goncarfatpit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Goncarfatpit, she will jump up and down on your head.

Goncarfatpit's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Goncarfatpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Goncarfatpit.