Dissdagsig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unjust shark.

Dissdagsig created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissdagsig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dissdagsig, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dissdagsig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dissdagsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never think about dark energy near dolphins while wearing pink shoes and balancing seven nickel spheres on your head.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look in ponds.