Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic chinchilla.

Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab.

2. You must love Cartunafspagsigkapfaswab.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.