Hasxenflow is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish bear.

Hasxenflow created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasxenflow, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasxenflow, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hasxenflow's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hasxenflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Do not speak about strawberries.

3. You must pray to Hasxenflow five times a day.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hasxenflow on top of all buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.