Somzakstig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, smart weasel.

Somzakstig created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somzakstig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Somzakstig, she will have a low opinion of you.

Somzakstig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Somzakstig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Do not speak about garlic.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.