Tigzigweg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, benevolent scorpion.

Tigzigweg created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Tigzigweg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tigzigweg, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tigzigweg's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tigzigweg's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near porpoises while wearing fawn scarves and balancing eight silver spheres on your head.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the north.