Carfadkan Tailgov is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, happy jaguar.

Carfadkan Tailgov created the Sol system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carfadkan Tailgov, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Carfadkan Tailgov, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Carfadkan Tailgov's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Carfadkan Tailgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Do not keep seven tortoises in a large pit.

4. Do not hurt aardvarks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.