Appfonhit is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, duplicitous porpoise.

Appfonhit created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Appfonhit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Appfonhit, he will laugh at you.

Appfonhit's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Appfonhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not take Appfonhit's name in vain.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Never wear red jumpers.