Wotpopomin is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring dove.

Wotpopomin created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotpopomin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wotpopomin, he will destroy your favourite star.

Wotpopomin's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Wotpopomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Hide from blue whales for they are unholy.

4. Always help sick gulls.

5. You must pray to Wotpopomin seven times a day.