Ruttsaggaddunquimdad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, grumpy jaguar.

Ruttsaggaddunquimdad created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttsaggaddunquimdad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttsaggaddunquimdad, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ruttsaggaddunquimdad's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Ruttsaggaddunquimdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near mice while wearing cyan corsets and balancing three nickel spheres on your arms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ruttsaggaddunquimdad loves voles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.