Laprapstig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish wyrm.

Laprapstig created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Laprapstig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Laprapstig, it will turn you into a puffin.

Laprapstig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Laprapstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Laprapstig.

3. Hide if six tapirs approach from the north.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never feed lots of cherries to gulls while wearing purple hats.