Bumyam is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, moody wren.

Bumyam created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bumyam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bumyam, he will turn you into a tree.

Bumyam's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bumyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near turtles while wearing indigo stockings and balancing seven gold spheres on your back.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.