Homjonweg is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless troll.

Homjonweg created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homjonweg, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Homjonweg, he will come to you in dreams.

Homjonweg's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Homjonweg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Homjonweg five times a day.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Homjonweg on top of all buildings.

3. Put Homjonweg first in all things.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.